Pulse Nigeria Poll: Readers advise Hajara to allow her husband marry a second wife

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This worried woman needs advice

38% of Pulse Nigeria Poll readers are of the opinion that Hajara should allow her husband to have his way after he insists on marrying a second wife.

Hajara, a 32-year-old married woman, had been through thick and thin with her husband, Habu, even getting her father to give him money to set up a business.

But now that things are looking up for him, Habu has finalized plans to marry a second wife against his vow to Hajara not to do so.

But the painful thing is that he wants to marry the daughter of her father's business rival which could spell doom for her father's business.

Read her story here

"My name is Hajara, a 32-year-old married woman. I have been married to Habu for the past 10 years with five children but now, he is planning to get a second wife.

As a Muslim woman, I ordinarily should not have a problem with my husband marrying another wife but my anger is that Habu had vowed never to marry another woman no matter the pressure.

When I met Habu, he was a struggling young man who had nothing to his name. He was working for one of my uncles and I would say I fell in love with him because of his dedication and hard work.

Though he did not earn much, he was able to save some money and knew what he wanted in life.

When I introduced him to my parents as the man I wanted to marry, they were not happy with my choice, especially the uncle he worked with.

My people felt I could have picked a better man and not a mere errand boy and a messenger but I was madly in love with Habu and told my parents I would not marry anyone except him.

I had a running battle with my family but in the end, as usual, I was able to get them to give their approval even though they were still not very happy with my choice.

In the first few years of my marriage, I know how much I suffered with Habu to make it work. We would go hungry most days and I was so ashamed to go to my parents to seek help.

We struggled so much and in the end, I had to go to my mother and begged her to plead with my father to help us. After my father insulted me to no end, he finally gave us a huge sum of money to set up a business.

Apart from the money, my father referred my husband to some of his business partners and within a few years, the business had flourished so much that we built our own house, had different cars and lived like affluent people.

But today, Habu is going back on that vow he made to me and to make matters worse, he is bent on marrying a lady whose father is my father's greatest business rival.

The explanation he gave me was that the man had promised to give him so much money to expand his business but I know the real plan is to run my father out of his business by the man and he wants to use my own husband to achieve his aim.

When I reminded my husband that it was my father who made him what he is today, Habu told me that in the business world, there is no permanent friend but permanent interest. He has even threatened to send me packing if I stand in his way of getting married to the woman who is  a divorcee and far older than he is.

I wonder why a man would want to bite the finger that fed him just because of money and business interest.

Hajara."

The teaser for the day was:

If you were in Hajara's shoes, what would you do?

How Nigeria voted:

I would divorce Habu immediately and strip him of all he has - 25%

I will live with the situation as a Muslim woman - 38%

I will do everything possible to prevent the marriage - 26%

I will sue him for every money he has - 12%

How would you vote on this issue?



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