You Know I'm Just Joking by Ayomide Tayo: The demon of fighting that dwells among us

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Lagos Street urchins

Everywhere you go these days, someone is always fighting.

If you are reading this in your office, congratulations you made it out from the Monday madness.

If you are reading this in traffic, sorry. Lagos on a Monday morning is madness. Unfortunately, today BRT workers have gone on strike over unpaid salaries. Some things never change in Nigeria.

How was your weekend? I hope you didn't lose properties and were not trapped in your homes by the flood? If this heavy rainfall persists, Lagos will move from a mega-city to the floating city. The flood this year has been something else because to the persistent rain.

 

Social media was flooded (pun intended) by photos or videos of flooded streets and homes. The most outstanding of them all was the video of the white man kayaking on Ahmadu Bello, Victoria Island. I am sure the white man had been waiting all year for that moment. Trust an oyinbo to do things we won't think of.

 

After his x-games experiment, I am sure he would have called his friends in Europe and regaled them with the tale of him daring the watery elements in a third world African country.

While an oyinbo man was having the time of his life, Lagosians turned the flood into a battle of mainland versus Island. Trust Team YBNL to send hilarious memes and tweets to their rivals on the Island. I was surprised by the mainlanders, I didn't know they had enough data on their phones. The Islanders couldn't reply on time because most of their phones were buried in bags of rice.

 

Everything in Lagos is fight. When it floods, we fight about class. The people in Ikorodu are fighting Badoo. Even in the music industry, it is an arena of duels.

Nigeria's favourite Yoruba playboy Wizkid seems to have been watching too much of National Geographic lately. This is why he has been calling people frogs and ducks. How can you hear Davido's song and call him a frog? How can you look at Tekno and call him a duck? Wizkid where is your conscience?

 

Davido sending subs at Wizkid is understandable, they are nearly on the same level. Tekno is light years behind Wizkid though. What's that Kendrick Lamar song again? Nwokem, please sit down and be humble. Wizkid na master. It's good you have apologised. No, be every Super Eagles player go play ball abroad.

 

Even Baba Fashola is fighting with the National House of Assembly. I hope the former Eko governor gives those men there a few good knockouts. It seems they need a good lesson in doing their job.

The best thing to do is be a Lagos looker and witness all these fights for free because DSTV is expensive. Football season is not yet back so it doesn't make sense to pay for the subscription. When a new season is here, we the fans will be back to fighting ourselves every weekend.



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