President Buhari: In defense of Nigerian rats

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While some are afraid of rats, some people have them as pets

Nigerian rats have no interest in politics and should be left out of this mess.

Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar hid so much money that rats chewed on 10% of his money he kept in storage.

Today in Nigeria, rats have become a hot topic of discussion. Yesterday, Tuesday, August 22, 2017,  the president’s spokesperson, Garba Shehu, said rodents have damaged furniture and air-conditioning fittings in Buhari’s office.

"Following the three months period of disuse, rodents have caused a lot of damage to the furniture and the air conditioning units," Shehu lamented.

 

I am pretty sure that Nigerian rats are not interested in politics. They have better things to do with their time. They could terrorize the kitchen at Sheraton or any of the fast food joints in the capital city. I don't think the office of the President has Jollof Rice, turkey, chicken, goat meat, asun and small chops for rats to be interested in.

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I suspect the only thing in the President's office is a bunch of reports from various panels. Let's not give a dog a bad name. Rats shouldn't be the scapegoats for the state of the President's office.

Maybe, who knows, the Diezani loot might have been stashed in the President's office and since these are Abuja rats they have developed a sense of smell for foreign currency instead of food.

 

Nigeria is a dark comedy. The President of the most populous black nation cannot enter his office because of monstrous rats with sharp teeth that can chew metal and mahogany.

In the spirit of absurdity and cheap comedy, let us also say that the Nigerian Association of Rats will not stand for this slander. They may be unhygienic and give LASSA fever but they have never stopped a president from resuming office.

 

If rats couldn't stop a drug lord from smuggling tonnes of cocaine, I don't see how they are stopping a President from fully working. Maybe they are PDP trained rats. 



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