Pulse Nigeria Poll: Readers say Adekunle should stand by his wife

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93% of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters have told Adekunle to stand by his wife no matter the pressure his mother puts on him.

Adekunle has always lived under the shadow of his wealthy and powerful mother who has been dictating to him all his life.

He has always had to do things to please her and keep his inheritance but when it comes to marriage, Adekunle has decided to go with the woman he loves instead of his mother's choice.

But she has vowed to make life difficult for him and his young family if he does not send Esther away and marry Eniola.

Read his story here:

"My name is Adekunle, a 38-year-old man. I am a manager in my late father's company and married to a woman I love with the whole of my heart. We have a young daughter but my mother is doing everything possible to destroy my home and happiness.

Before my father died, he was a very wealthy man with interest in the oil sector and real estate and following his death [there were insinuations from my extended family that my mother killed him], she took absolute control of his properties.

Being an only son with three elder sisters, my mother became overbearing and made sure I only did things she approved of. She would not let me live my life as she always dictated to me.

She picked and chose my friends for me and anyone she did not approve was not allowed near me. She made sure my friends were children of the rich and mighty and would flip out if any of my friends were from a poor home.

ALSO READ: "Morning Teaser: 'How do I stop my mother from destroying my home?'"

While growing up, I wanted to be a lawyer but my mother made sure I read Business Administration so that I would take over my father's businesses and I had to read the course to please her.

When I started dating girls, my mother would scrutinize them and made sure they were from rich homes so that, according to her, I would not get married to the daughter of a pauper and a gold digger who will only come to reap from where she did not sow.

I allowed her to matchmake me with daughters of her friends, many of them spoilt brats whose parents were the movers and shakers of the society. But in truth, I knew I could only marry someone I loved even if she was from the poorest of homes.

When it was time for me to get married, my mother insisted I must marry one of her friend's daughter. I had dated Eniola on and off for some years and I knew that there was nothing that would make me marry her.

For one, Eniola was saucy, arrogant, lazy, possessive and because her father was a rich man, looked down on people. She could not cook the simplest of meals as she grew up with a retinue of servants who did everything for her, including washing her underwear.

Whenever she came to visit, she would leave her dirty panties and bras all over the place, would not clean the house and left unwashed dishes in the sink. Anytime I complained, she would tell me that if I wanted a woman who would clean and wash, then I should go and marry a low-breed lady.

And she was not even good in bed as she would just lay like a log of wood and expect me to do everything!

That was the kind of woman my mother wanted me to marry because her parents were well to do and would enhance the family business. But this time, I rebelled against her and insisted I was going to have my way no matter what.

While I was at the university, I was dating Esther, a very nice, quiet, industrious and understanding girl who loved me so much.

Through from a middle-class home, Esther was not fazed by the fact that I come from a wealthy home and neither was she after what I have. In fact, she had told me several times that she would marry me over and over even I was the poorest man on earth.

However, I could not take her home knowing that my mother would never accept her. I told Esther this and she understood perfectly and played along with me.

When the pressure was on me to get married to Eniola, I opened up to my mother that I had someone I wanted to get married to. My mother went ballistic and vowed that as long as she lived, it was Eniola or no one.

But for the first time, I defied her, took some of my uncles to meet Esther's family and we had our introduction.

At the wedding, my mother did not get involved as she did not approve of Esther but there was nothing she could do because Esther was already carrying my baby at that time.

But since our marriage, my mother has been making our lives a living hell. She does not want my wife to visit her or have anything to do with the company. She has only seen our baby twice since her birth and always embarrasses my wife any time they run into each other.

ALSO READ: "Pulse Nigeria Poll: Readers say they will dump a family inheritance for love"

Her latest antic now is that she would cut me off my father's will but in all of these, I have the backing of my uncles who are not happy with what she is doing.

She has vowed to make sure I do not have access to the company facilities like my official cars, vacations, medical benefits and other perks that the office carries. She made sure I was removed as the Managing Director and made a General manager but I do not care.

She says the only thing that will restore my position is to divorce Esther and marry Eniola but I have vowed to fight for my family even if it means losing my inheritance.

What steps should I take to put my mother in check?


The teaser for the day was:

What do you think Adekunle should do in this situation?

How Nigeria voted:

Adekunle should stand by his wife no matter what it takes - 93%

Adekunle should go with his mother so as not to lose his inheritance - 10%

Adekunle should sue his mother on his father's property - 7%

Adekunle can as well marry Eniola as the second wife - 2%

How would you vote here?

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